Never too late.

I was browsing my Facebook account just a while ago.  And this is what I found:  

This graphic resonates so much to me.  You see I reinvented myself at mid-40s.  I saw a lot of raised eyebrows when I made the decision to leave my job of 25 years!  Many got panicked for me.  They were thinking of my retirement.  Little did these people know that my retirement fund was one of the reasons why I left employment.

You see I have big dreams for me and my family.  Seemingly my 25 years of being employed had not given me the big dreams that I really want to get.  Mind you I was not just an ordinary employee when I left; I was, in fact, at the middle-management level position.  I had 73 faculty members under my wing back then.  I have nothing against employment --- it actually has shaped me and molded me to be the person that I am today. But I needed to leave, and pursue the dreams that God has planted in my heart.  

Ever since I was young, I have been a dreamer.  I would always imagine the life that I want to have, the house where I want to live, the car that I want to drive, and the savings and investment that I want to have.  Yes, I was receiving a good salary from my employer, but I was just living the life that I can afford, not the life that I want.  

Right now, I am in my journey towards the fulfillment of all my dreams.  I made the decision and took inspired action over a year ago to change my life direction.  I know that in due time, all of my big dreams will unfold before my very eyes.  

At 46 I know that it's not yet too late.  It's not too late to enjoy everything that life has to offer.  It's not yet too late to make my big dreams come true.  How about you? :-)

Forty-six.

Today, I am.

My birthday cake.  MaMaison. July 4, 2012.

I was born 46 years ago, and there are 46 major milestones, events and people in my life that I am so grateful about:

1.  My God and my faith.  I cannot imagine my life without God.  My mother taught me how to pray as early and I was always the prayer leader in our small community.

2.  My parents.  I saw how they labored just to feed, clothe and send us to school. Thank you, Nanay, for all the hardwork you did for us.  I know it was very difficult for you to work night and day just to feed us. It was very lucky for us when you come home with rice for us to last for a day.  Thank you, Nanay, for teaching us to be practical, for letting us realize that life is not easy, for making us experience life as early.  Today, people may call it child labor, but it wasn't for me.  We needed it so that we could eat lest all of us in the family would get hungry.  Thank you, Tatay, for your unconditional love for me.  Nanay's siblings would call you indolent but they didn't realize how much you helped them.  Tatay, I truly admire till this day your talents and skills.  I could not forget the days when you would bring me to the city to buy me a pair of shoes. You might not be able to finish school, but you are the most intelligent person I know.  Your PR is incomparable to those who finished college.  I miss the days when you would teach me how to dance the ballroom after dinner. I know, Tatay, you are now happy in your place there in heaven where there's no more pain of your ailment.

3.  My siblings.  I am so loved by my three brothers, Wilson, Sam, and Nick.  Thank you, bros, for your love and care for me. Well my only sister used to love me, too, and I guess she's still loving me though she is in heaven.

4.  My elementary school.  This is where I first developed my esteem and self-confidence.  I was always regarded as the best student, and the best student that this school has ever had.  Thank you my dear teachers, Mr. Cagayao, Ms. Silbor, Ms. Calcaben, Ms. Cadiz, Mr. Erebaren and Ms. Calampinay.

5.  My high school.  A place where I learned that the rich are always given privileges, and the poor ones, like us, don't have a place in the honor rolls and in the activities.  Thank you for this challenge; I am what I am today because of that realization.  Thank you, Ms. Cachuela, for embarrassing me in class that day when I was in first year because you didn't like the fact that my father went to school to complain about my grades in Math.  Who wouldn't?  My classmate who was poorer in Math than I am and who copied my answers in the test got higher grade than I did.  You favored her because she belonged to the elite members of society.  Well that embarrassment, Ms. Cachuela, made me strive hard that I graduated Cum Laude in college.

6.  Mr. Carlos Cajilig.  Thank you very much for granting me that high school scholarship.  Fresh from elementary, I knew I was an outstanding student. So I mustered my courage and took the scholarship exam; luckily, I passed and was able to study in this school ran by OP nuns.  Unfortunately, I didn't shine in high school because I was just a poor lass from the mountains.

7.  My cousins (father side).  Thank you for treating me like an "animal" when I was studying in high school..  That made me more determined  and gave me more perseverance to attain my goals.

8.  My Auntie Nana.  Thank you very much for letting me study in college in the evening way back 1983 to 1987.  Thank you for fetching me from school everytime there was heavy downpour, for the watch you gave me when I started going to college so that I could monitor the time and be home on time, for the cloth you gave me which was turned into a beautiful dress (the only one I had during that time), for teaching me how to lead a simple, disciplined life.  I know you are happy watching in heaven of how I have myself today.

9.  My scousins (mother side).  Thank you very much for making me feel that I was just your lowly servant from 1982 to 1987.  I remember everytime I was at the kitchen washing the plates for you I would always tell myself that one day I would be in a better place than you.  And that is happening now. Thank you for all the oppression and the "pang-aapi".  I truly appreciate them now.

10.  Arellano University.  Thank you for offering an evening school for self-supporting students like me.

11.  Dina Abariso.  Thank you for being a friend.  You were my best friend in college.  And for all you know, you were my only friend then.  Thank you for introducing me to your other friends and for encouraging me to join our college organization.  That had a tremendous impact on my self-confidence.

12.  Paco Catholic School.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to work there as a teacher.  The work discipline and ethics you taught me I carry up to now.

13.  Ms. Ping Cinco.  Thank you for mentoring me the hard way when I was a new teacher.  You embarrassed me once in class when you did classroom observation, but that was ok.  I learned so much from it.

14.  Ms. Dory Pabalate.  Thank you for being my mentor and my tormentor, too.  I have learned so much from you especially on test construction and lesson planning.  May you rest in peace, Tita Dors!

15.  Ms. Olive Demingoy.  Thank you for your dislike in me.  Your disliking me forced me to leave PCS,  and I have never been this happier.  Your parting words when I left PCS still linger in my mind.  That was full of wisdom, and I appreciate it.

16.  Anne Agustin.  Thank you for teaching me about patience and understanding and unconditional love.

17.  My boardmates at 187 Modesta Mateo.  Thank you for teaching me what it is to become independent. Thank you also for teaching me how to smoke; I found out that smoking is not really for me.

18.  The MIC Sisters.  Thank you very much for giving a wonderful experience when I decided to become a nun.  At least I found out that becoming a nun was not for me.

19.  Sis. Azun, MIC.  Thank you for helping me know who I really am.  Our ICs helped me a lot in discovering more of myself and God's calling for me.  Thank you for helping me overcome the sudden death of my sister.  I could not forget that session!

20.  My co-postulants at the MIC.  Thank you for being my companion in my journey.  Thank you for all the laughter, the tears and everything we had at the convent.

21.  EACIT.  Thank you for giving me the chance to work with you.  In you I discovered my self-worth again.

22.  Ms. Leonida Africa.  Thank you for your motherly love and care and for your trust in me.

23.  Ms. Cecille Ratilla.  Thank you for being a Mama Ces to me, for all your understanding and care.

24.  Belle Cheng.  Thank you for the friendship, ganda!

25.  Lydia Montallana & Noli Calamaza.  Thank you for the kind of friendship that we have.  Thank you for treating me like your sister.  Thank you for all the things that you have given me, for the love and support. You're unlike others who went to the States and have forgotten; you both have remained humble and thoughtful. Thank you my friends!

26.  FEU-EAC.  Thank you for the confidence in me.  I have been one of your directors since 2005 and I am so grateful for all the benefits and privileges that you have provided. Thank you for making one of my dreams come true, that is, to become one of your administrators.

27. HSC Family.  Thank you very much for inspiring me to be the best leader that I can be.  Thank you for all your support, love and understanding.

28.  Jazt Calim.  Thank you for being an efficient assistant.  I cannot imagine my life without you at the department.

29.  May Rose Imperial.  Thank you for your inspiration.  I have learned a lot from you --- your leadership at work and personal leadership.  You are one person that I cannot forget.  I cannot be the kind of leader that I am now if not for your mentoring and personal example.

30.  Elsa Gerardo. Thank you for teaching me how to be thoughtful.  Your thoughtfulness is contagious indeed!

31.  DLSU.  Thank you for offering me the scholarship I needed for my master's degree.  I only had the courage when I applied to study for my master's degree for I know that you are generous and that you have a scholarship for students like me.  Thank you for granting that master's degree in 100% scholarship.  Now I am finishing my doctorate also through your scholarship.

32.  VAVP.  Thank you for your belief in my capabilities.  The break you gave me to  become an international consultant of your company has changed my perspective about myself and my life.  You have given me hope that I am capable of making things happen.  Thank you for the exposure and the belief.

33.  Foreign trips.  So far I have been to seven countries.    I went abroad either to present papers in international conferences, conventions or meet clients for my consultancy works.  Thank you so much, Lord, for these travels.  It's good to learn about new places, new cultures.  These travels have changed my perspective.  

34.  Richard, Jomel, Rhain, Genelyn.  You guys rock!  You have rocked my world! :-)  Thank you for teaching me how to become a "mother".  I don't have a child of my own, and I thank God that you come into my life. 

35. Oriel. Thank you for teaching me how to love even more. 

36. SDSP Friends.  Thank you very much for our friendship of almost two decades now.  Thank you for loving me and for understanding me.  Teena, Apol, Ara, Ger, Aimee, Lita, Tess, Sheila, Lai, Gary:  you are the most non-judgmental people I know.

37.  Don Bosco - Manda.  Thank you for giving me the chance to prove my worth as Lector and Commentator.  Your accepting me as your trainee in the MLOC way back in the early 90s paved the way for me to regain my self-confidence and my self-esteem.

38.  SDSP.  Thank you for the chance you gave me to prove my leadership.  Thank you also for the friendship that I have formed through you.  

39.  World Youth Day 95.  Thank you for the affirmation that dreams do come true as long as you prayed about it.  You know that when I volunteered to be one of the core groups to facilitate the WYD at SDSP I declared that I would do it because I wanted to see the Pope up close and personal.  And it happened at the most unexpected place!  I remember I went to the restroom at the back of Quirino Grandstand.  After getting the comfort I needed, the guards wouldn't let us go because the helicopter carrying the Pope was already landing.  And I was in awe upon seeing Lolek walking towards our direction.  It was so close!  

40.  PHD Classes.  In my entire student life, it was only when I was taking my PHD that I could say it was difficult!  During that time that I was serious with you, I got two operations:  total hysterectomy and carpal tunnel syndrome. I think PHD wasn't for me?  :-D  Nevertheless, thank you.  I gained new friends because of you.

41.  Edu Bolanos.  We call each other "frend."  We went into PHD classes together.  The only difference is that you nerd, and I am not. If our professors would tell us to write a paper of 25 pages, you'd write 50.  If we were required to read a chapter, you'd read the whole book.  After classes, we'd go somewhere together to unwind.  It's with him that experienced lying on the cemented porch at the Ateneo - just to unwind!  Thank you so much, frend!  I am so grateful that you invited me to become a member of your team. I am so grateful that we dreamed together, and together make our dreams a reality.  We're just starting with our life's journey, and together let us make it to the finish line.  

42.  HRY.  Because of you I learned what unconditional love means.  Thank you very much for being my friend, my buddy, my companion, and my number one critic.   I always dream of travelling to Europe with you, and I know one day this will come true!  

43.  Eduard & Shanne Miguel.  Thank you very much, my mentors!  

44.  My U Business. You are slowly making my dreams come true!  You are such a generous company.  Your passion for quality is incomparable.  Thank you for the excellent compensation.  Thank you, Dr. Myron Wentz!  

45.  The Feast. I cannot miss this event.  The Feast is the happiest place on earth!  It's the place where miracles happen.  Thank you, Bo Sanchez, for creating The Feast especially for the un-churched.

46.  Caring group. I am so grateful for this small group where each one cares for each other.  In this group I can be myself without fear of being judged.  I this group a number of my prayers have been answered.  Thank you.

There are still a lot of milestones and people that are not included here. The people, events and places mentioned here are the ones that I remember while writing.  I am going to continue this gratitude list in the next blog entries.  

Meantime, let's celebrate my 46th!   

On taking risks.

"If you want something, you must be willing to take the risk.  And if you really, really want something, you must be willing to risk everything." ~ B. Evangelista, my mentor.

XLR8 Leaders.  Balai Isabel. May 2012.

These words have kept on reverberating in my mind ever since I heard it from my business mentor.  That was several months ago!  But wherever I go, whatever I do these words echo loud and clear.  And today, while seated on my desk, looking at the refreshing green Narra leaves outside my office window, these words have shouted again loud and clear between my ears.

What could that be?  Is it a sign? 

I've always heard a cliche that if you want get something you've never had, you must do things you've never did.  It's easy to say yes, but on a deeper thought, am I really willing to do things that I haven't done before. I know this calls for me to go out of my comfort zone. I know very well that comfort zone is the safest but the most dangerous place.  This calls for me to go out and explore the world out there, to learn more, to travel more, to achieve my dreams. 

But the question remains:  Am I willing to take the risk? 

Change.

The new me.  Balai Isabel.  April 2012

I am surprised to see the changes in the blogger templates today.  It's been a while since my last post.  I got so busy with life, especially with my new business, that I got no more time to practice writing.  


Well it has been said that change is the only permanent thing in this world.  And I have changed.  My life is slowly changing into what I have dreamed it to be.  My schedules have changed.  My friends and acquaintances have changed.  The people that I hang out with have changed.  My perspective has changed.  My mindset has changed.  Even my waistline have changed, too!


But why?  It's a conscious effort on my part to change.  I need this if only I want to achieve my dreams and aspirations in life.  If I would not change, then I would not grow.  I would be doing the things that I have been doing.  But I don't like that anymore!  


I want growth in all areas of my life.  And slowly I am going out of my comfort zone.  As they say, everything that we need is just outside our comfort zone.  And I don't want to be comfortable!  Our comfort zone is our safe place, and that is the most dangerous place!  


Sooner I'll be leaving behind the life I've known to lead for 45 years.  I am now a changed person.  Watch out for the new me, cyber world!